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I am a resilient, kind, determined, humble, peaceful, giving, humorous and understanding individual. I learned how to ask for help when I needed to reach out through my humility. I know I had years of darkness and pain from childhood to post divorce dilemmas. My daily journal has created a new path of deeper inner thoughts to digest my past accomplishments, triumphs, failures, and relationships. The acceptance of my past will lead to solace and inner sanctity of peace. The challenges to remove the negative emotions of frustration, anxiety, anger or unhappiness is daunting. I do not seek forgiveness by being a good person nor enlighten other's lives with my gestures of kindness. A meaningful life is one that creates your legacy, your footprint, your loving relationships, and contributions to the masses. Each day that passes, is one less breath I will take tomorrow. I struggle finding the emotions of true love. Is it achievable or unattainable? During these last six months of daily writing, I recognized my unique talents with my ability to make others smile, laugh and be happy. When I accept my personal conflicts through my memory flashbacks, maybe then I will feel happy or happier again. My writings will reveal where I am now and where I am going. I do not have to agree, like, forgive or embrace those past events, but accept my fate. I want to understand the emotions of love and hate because of the intensity it resonates inside of me. Love equates to happiness? I know what triggers my anger, but I cannot feel the emotion of love? Why? Love should have no attachments. Love should make you feel free. Love has no tension, demands, or resentment. Love should make your entire body quiver. Their touch of their hand or lips on your mouth should leave you breathless. Love should be a natural emotion. I want to feel independently proud not dependently in need. Love cannot be enabled. Feeling emotionally boxed in without any way out, leaves you feeling suffocated, not loved. Love is not conditional. To become emotionally alive, love is a major factor in the meaning of happiness. I struggle with the ability on who says they love me versus how it makes me feel. I cannot exhibit feels of love when they are nonexistent. It hasn’t happened to me yet with my family or relationships. I thought I could have been in love, but I am wrong. It was based on circumstance not real true love. Is it true when you find your true love it is your soul mate? I hear from others love is unconditional, uncomplicated, and simple! Love should be a beautiful thing. When I find it, I will feel it, and then I will know. I'll cherish love, embrace love, and I will never let it go! View all posts by lori.b.blum.fagien